driver's seat blues

One thing I've come to discover about life lately is that we want to not be in control of it. I think many people go around wanting someone else to give them the answers, tell them what to do, what's right and wrong, etc. I know I do. It's fun to take vacations and let other things and people be in charge for a while. But you always have to come back to yourself and put the little pilot back into her seat behind your eye sockets and have her be the one pulling all the levers and pressing the buttons.

I've found my various ways in life of abdicating control: drinking, drugs, relationships. I think many people in America use jobs--work--to tell them what to do. Television, media, pop culture, all living your life for you, influencing your decisions.

Sometimes it's hard to be in the driver's seat. Sometimes you want to see the scenery. This weekend was fun. Now I'm back at the wheel again. I think I'm okay with that.