I stopped drinking and joined AA along with Normal.

I even have the book. I can't believe it. I shouldn't be so aghast: grandpa on my mom's side was a terrible alcoholic--it killed him and destroyed their family--and these things apparently skip generations. But yeah. So. Now I've been sober for five days. It feels weird to be so lucid. I am getting all sorts of little mini-epiphanies about myself, and about life, and about spirituality and humanity and all that crap. I think the drinking dulled them. I don't know why I didn't want to think about them. They are saving my life.

But I've always been terrified of change.