overhaul / undertow

Saturday, April 01, 2006



So i was prepping tonight about three hours ago for my dessert sammiches
for tomorrow.

they were an improvement over last year's model. thy were still
pumpernickel, but the plan was to toast one side, then coat the other
side with melted sugar, which would harden into a crispy sweet layer.
then i bought chestnut spread to schmear on top of that; then the goat
cheese (whipped for spreadability) would go on that. then on that would
go crumbles of english stilton with lemon peel (a boutique stilton, made
in the same mthod but without the blue mold). then a layer of
caramelized apples in a rum-raisin-lemon glaze with double-devon-cream
butter. the apples were pink lady & granny smith, which i'd peeled in
spirals so that each slice appeared striped, some with pink stripes
(pink lady) others with green stripes (granny). then on those would go a
drizzle of thick caramel, and a garnish of [homemade]candied black
walnuts and creme fraiche.

it was a surefire winner. i was so happy. i'd planned for months, ever
since i made a slightly less tricked-out version of the same for last
year. i prepped them at home last year, arranged them on a cookie sheet,
and brought them in to theorylabs. i set the cookie sheet down with a
cover over it so no one could see that there were sandwiches, and walked
over to register. while i was away someone took off the foil cover, and
everyone ate them all. i was heartbroken. hundres of bucks of
ingredients, hours, days even, of time--gone. this year was to be my
triumphant return. i was so excited that my co-workers were intrigued.
one, who was a line cook before, and who now does our recipe column,
entered with a buddy. all my co-workers are coming. he & i had a
friendly "i'm gonna kick your ass, bitch!" thing going on. i spent all
day today buying ingredients. i went to sur la table and bought a
beautiful new skillet. it was going to be a great day.

and then i sliced my hand open tonight with a mandoline cutter while
slicing the apples. it took off a chunk of skin about the size of a
quarter from the bony area above my thumb. i couldn't see bone, but i
could see a small vein throbbing just under where the blade had sliced.
luckily i didnt cut thru THAT. but it bled everywhere anyway. i went to
the hospital and they can't do stitches 'cos it's not a cut, it's a
chunk, and they can't stitch that wide--it'd pull my skin all weird. so
they had a nurse do a shitty job of bandaging it up and sent me home. it
had kinda mellowed out on the bleeding, so i thought, hey, maybe i can
still do my gci prep, so i put on a latex glove and resumed working. but
when i began working that little vein, it must have split open, and i
watched in horror as the glove filled with blood. so it was back to
sitting down and applying pressure.

i am so miserable. i can't move my right hand. i can't complete my
preparations, and prolly can't even cook.

and all this food is still sitting around me, a brand-new $70 skillet in
on the stove with now-solidified caramelized sugar in it, there's dried
blood all over my hands, and i'm here typing this because i;m an idiot
for caring so much about this stupid competition. i'm typing this with
my left hand and pressing the other hand on the table surface to keep it
from bleeding more.

i am so sad.

i will either help my friend from work make HIS sammiches, I guess (and
his recipe is amazing, almost (almost) as brilliant as mine. or maybe
there's someone out there willing to be my right hand? because the one i
have right now is not working, except to bleed on everything.

2 Comments:

At 11:58 AM, Anonymous jaylinn said...

WHY AM I IN TEXAS?????

This is SO my bag, baby....

I"M SORRY YOU WRECKED YOUR TRAIN!

(and gross me out totally with the description. totally)

 
At 6:06 PM, Blogger Sarah Francesca said...

hey, you are so amazingly fresh and funny. sorry about the pain and all.

 

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