Excerpted from McSweeney's by a generous, generous soul who had to transcribe it directly:

Dave Eggers wrote a series of letters under the pseudonym of Daniel O'Mara who himself was writing letters from the point of view of Steven. Steven is a dog. This is cool. -michele.

_____________________________________________---begin McSweeney's transmission:


On August 5, 2000, twenty letters were sent by Daniel O'Mara to the chief executive
officers of twenty Fortune 500 companies. This is one; four more follow.
-------------------------------

Hugh L. McColl, Jr.
CEO, Bank of America Corop.
100 N. Tryon Street
Charlotte, NC
28255

Dear Mr. Thomas,

I realize that you are a busy man so I will get to the point. I have recently been writing
some passages from the point of view of a dog named Steven, and I would like you to
see an example. Here is one:


I am Steven and I was born in a box of glass, on newsprint cut to ribbons. I am
here now, five years later, and my paws, once white like paper, are now white
like ivory. I have walked streets! And over fields! Have seen things! The hands
of children I've bitten! They look delectable and taste so fine!

I have to move. I have to move. I can jump a mile. I'm that kind of dog -- I can
jump a goddamn mile. I'm a great dog. I see colors like you hear jetplanes.

I'm going to find a hole. I'm going to find a tiny tiny tiny hole and walk
through like goddamn Gandhi.


That is all for now.

D

Daniel O'Mara
5811 Mesa Drive, #216
Austin, TX
78731