overhaul / undertow

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

cheez whizzes

Looking bravely to the future of grilled cheese: TJ and I at the 2nd 2nd Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational. He won first place in his sammich category. I'm so proud I could cry.

http://www.grilledcheeseinvitational.com/ They haven't updated the "winners" section of the GCI site yet, but they will. Oh they will.

Brilliant photo courtesy of Lon.

I like it.

I am very picky and demanding, tho.

Saturday, March 26, 2005


I love my new glasses.

Friday, March 25, 2005

is it true that I can only feel when I describe? have I only learned to experience things through language? is there no other way for me? because it is the description that kills. the description is in my head.

There is no narrator. I am no voiceover. I am the characters. I am the story. I am the poem, the lyric, each verb. No adjectives.

and love is a verb.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.

In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.



















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The squirrels have buried lots of nuts in our backyard. There are so many of them that sometimes I walk out the backdoor and I can count six, eight in the exodus as they run away. I just noticed that when the dogs go out, now, they eat the nuts the squirrels bury.

I think it's funny. An ecosystem hotwired.


Guess who's back in town?

I think we're a good match. :)

Sunday, March 13, 2005

quote of the day:

"Be careful of the dogwater."

On a completely unrelated note, I miss my boyfriend.

Whoa. I have a boyfriend.

Trip out, dude.

I really miss him.

this is so fucking awesome

Grilled cheese wedding cake, from Trey and Melissa's wedding.

I did the e-z cheez icing and helped with the concept. Heidi did most of the assembly.


I am not a very good gypsy

I learned something new about myself: I always wanted to be the sorta person who could just carry their home with them (in my car, for instance—all that crap) and plop down wherever and sleep, like some urban nomad, but I realize I’m just not that way. I want to be that way, but I’m learning you can’t make yourself be a particular way just ‘cos you like how it sounds on paper.

Girlie's going-away party was last night at Theorylabs, and I danced and talked and goofed off with everyone until suddenly it was five a.m. Holy shit. I was too tired, I figured, to drive very far. I tried to crash at Doc’s loft on the couch there, ‘cause it was dark as fuck and I knew if I arrived home at that hour my folks would flip out (“We don’t want you driving at that hour! and why were you up so late!?”) and they were all still awake and the music was loud and people were talking and smoking like chimneys over at the Labs so no sleep could be had there. So I left and went to Doc’s and even though I was tired in theory (har har), I just couldn’t sleep for the life of me. I’d fully planned on sleeping so I’d even taken a trazodone and a benadryl cos he has a cat, and still not a wink of sleep.

And the cat, Wednesday, kept meowing loudly at me. I think she wanted her dad, but he was still over at Theory talking to the scads of pretty girls. And I tossed and turned but still stayed completely fucking awake. I realized I like my own bed (not just my own bed, but a bed as opposed to a couch, also), or maybe I just like things to be a very specific, bed-like way. I like warm sheets and blankets, feeling cozy but not too hot, that soft satin-y stuff on the edges of fuzzy warm blankets, and a pillow that’s flattened to pancake-thinness angled just the right way so my neck isn’t craned in a completely unnatural direction. (Why is it people think it’s okay to sleep with your neck at an angle it would NEVER be in if you were standing? What the fuck is up with that?) So I was really un-thrilled for a while there, and just laid around awkwardly on the couch in the pitch black for an hour or so. The trazadone and benadryl never kicked in, I was wide awake and hungry and had to pee and finally I just left around 5:45 or so. I think next time I’ll just come straight home regardless of the time, unless I can be sure I have an environment that fits my specs.

On the way home I stopped and got three donuts at Krispy Kreme. I’ve had their donuts before but never warm right outta the cooker (I say that instead of “fryer” ‘cause it makes me feel better). Holy shit. It was like biting into really good, warm, sugary melting gooey cozy sex.


Weird how wanting to be one way, or envying the personality of those who are that way—-people like Normal and Sylkia who can just travel wherever, footloose and fancy-free, and crash on a couch and live life like a gypsy—-doesn’t make you that way.

On the other hand, I guess I could be that gypsy-spirited person if I want to, regardless of the fact that I don’t have that particular ability to sleep wherever I plunk my ass down.

It’s also weird how there are so many little things I don’t know about myself. All it took was for me to turn my attention to them for them to suddenly begin rising like fingerprints from the dust—they were always there, a clear print of me, but I never looked for them. Even little stuff like that.

Maybe it’ll all add up to build the bigger stuff I can’t even begin to understand yet.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Sign of Armageddon or just really cool?

I found these at the Walgreen's near my house yesterday:

To show you just how snow-white, bright white, Moby-Dick white these things are, I took them outside:

How weird is that?

I'm gonna go back and buy all of them.

Monday, March 07, 2005

for greg:

There are also some abstract ones I've been experimenting with, and I haven't any pics of them yet.